Went for a drive today and noticed that the roads were crazier than usual. Something to do with the Holiday Spirit
More mad bus drivers, more psychopathic three wheel drivers, more drunk car drivers..
I’ve come to the following conclusions about Sri Lankan motorists
1. They are Inconsiderate
They simply don’t give a f*ck about anyone. If they can get to their destination one second earlier, it doesnt matter how many lives they endanger, or how much havoc they cause.
2. They are stupid.
Most motorists have no basic grasp of physics. They keep trying to do the impossible with their vehicles. True, most of the time they get away, merely irritating others but every once in a way, they cause serious damage.
3. They don’t have common sense.
People who jump red lights and try to dodge across the path of a fully loaded full speed bus in a three wheeler fall into this category.
Sadly, no amount of drivers ed can fix these problems.
Hazards you encounter on the local roads
(a primer for anyone who is new to driving here)
1. Bus drivers/truck drivers
Always small short men who chew red colored stuff (betel leaves?) and spit around. They lack common sense and their favorite hobby is driving at full speed on the wrong side of the road, so that you have two options, either a. get off to the side of the road, b. be identified via dental records.
2. Women drivers
Highly unpredictable. Nobody can really say what they are going to do. With men drivers at least you know they are going to do the dumbest thing anyone could do in a given situation. With a lady driver… who knows?
3. Three wheel drivers
Behave as if the drive armored trucks. Think they are invincible. Have brains smaller than hamsters
4. Motor cycle drivers.
Similar to above category, zip around like mad mosquitoes. Find a hole, they will try to squeeze through it.
5. Van drivers
A whole separate category of mad
6. Busy office executives
Always in a hurry to get nowhere. Usually driving a cheap japanese used car, and dodging around like madmen.
7. Pedestrians
Like dogs and cats, just stupider. Unlike dogs and cats they don’t have common sense
8. Dogs and cats
Are pretty smart because the dumb ones are eliminated (natural selection) Therefore the average dog/cat is smarter than the average pedestrian.
9. Cows and other large mammals
Usually sedate but have a nasty habit of ending up en masse in the middle of the road