sum.na

Road to Jaffna, by GlobeTrotter

In most countries, roads are considered public property. In Sri Lanka, on the other hand, they are considered your property. i.e. if there is a road bordering your house, you are free to use it any way you wish.

Some innovative uses Sri Lankans have put their roads to:

1. As a toilet: especially for pets, and occationally for the owners.
2. As a garbage dump: bonus points if your garbage smells extra bad, and you stack it directly in front of someone elses house.
3. For construction: Let’s say you decide to build an addition to your house, or renovate. The road can be used for stacking cement blocks or bricks, to mix cement, also for storing sand, etc.
4. For funerals: It is the custom that if someone in your family dies, as part of the festivities mourning, you are permitted to erect a makeshift gazebo/pavillion where the bereaved can gather and drink themselves silly mourn.
5. For weddings: same as above.
6. For parking: If you need to park your vehicle, your friends vehicle, or the truck belonging to your fathers brothers mothers cousin twice removed, you guessed it, thats what the road is for.

Traditional Sri Lankan road-etiquette concepts

1. Make sure you obstruct other vehicles: If you must park on the road, don’t park in the side. Park at an odd hazardous angle and block all traffic.
2. If you are constructing something on your road, leave timber, sand, nails, and any hazardous items in the way of any cars that ply that road.
3. Show your neighbor your love, by blocking their gateway using any means necessary. Its the Sri Lankan way!

Random non related flickr photo of the day:


Walls Ice cream? Hmm.. yummy

Went for a drive today and noticed that the roads were crazier than usual. Something to do with the Holiday Spirit

More mad bus drivers, more psychopathic three wheel drivers, more drunk car drivers..

I’ve come to the following conclusions about Sri Lankan motorists

1. They are Inconsiderate
They simply don’t give a f*ck about anyone. If they can get to their destination one second earlier, it doesnt matter how many lives they endanger, or how much havoc they cause.

2. They are stupid.
Most motorists have no basic grasp of physics. They keep trying to do the impossible with their vehicles. True, most of the time they get away, merely irritating others but every once in a way, they cause serious damage.

3. They don’t have common sense.
People who jump red lights and try to dodge across the path of a fully loaded full speed bus in a three wheeler fall into this category.

Sadly, no amount of drivers ed can fix these problems.

Hazards you encounter on the local roads
(a primer for anyone who is new to driving here)

1. Bus drivers/truck drivers
Always small short men who chew red colored stuff (betel leaves?) and spit around. They lack common sense and their favorite hobby is driving at full speed on the wrong side of the road, so that you have two options, either a. get off to the side of the road, b. be identified via dental records.

2. Women drivers
Highly unpredictable. Nobody can really say what they are going to do. With men drivers at least you know they are going to do the dumbest thing anyone could do in a given situation. With a lady driver… who knows?

3. Three wheel drivers
Behave as if the drive armored trucks. Think they are invincible. Have brains smaller than hamsters

4. Motor cycle drivers.
Similar to above category, zip around like mad mosquitoes. Find a hole, they will try to squeeze through it.

5. Van drivers
A whole separate category of mad

6. Busy office executives
Always in a hurry to get nowhere. Usually driving a cheap japanese used car, and dodging around like madmen.

7. Pedestrians
Like dogs and cats, just stupider. Unlike dogs and cats they don’t have common sense

8. Dogs and cats
Are pretty smart because the dumb ones are eliminated (natural selection) Therefore the average dog/cat is smarter than the average pedestrian.

9. Cows and other large mammals
Usually sedate but have a nasty habit of ending up en masse in the middle of the road