Theories


Impermanence
I think this is a universal law that governs all things that exist. By impermanence I mean everything is in a constant state of change. The world, the universe, our bodies and minds, nothing is permanent.

No permanent heaven or hell
If we accept that all things are impermanent, then there can be no such thing as a permanent heaven or hell (think of it from a practical perspective. If heaven were permanent, who would pay the electricity bills? If hell were permanent who would pay the fuel bill for all those fires? Besides thanks to GWB, oil is very expensive these days..)

As far as I know, our existence could be explained by the following scenarios:

  1. Karma: That we are beings composed of energy, that our actions create good and bad karma, and that good and bad karma affects us (positively or negatively) in this life and the next, to infinity and beyond. And that at the end of this life, our energy re-manifests in another life form, which continues to be affected by our acquired karma.
  2. God: a God created us, for 1 life, and based on our performance here will reward us with heaven or hell
  3. No God, No Karma: Evolution created us and we will exist in single (or repeated) live(s) independant of whether our actions are ‘good’ or ‘bad’.

Assuming we accept the karmic theory, then what?

  1. We could work to game the system: we could do good, while expecting positive results, and hope we don’t do to much ‘bad’ and end up experiencing too many negative results: this is called Buddhism in Sri Lanka. In theory, we could continue to do this infinitely
  2. We could choose to leave the system: go beyond Karma, both good or bad

Say we believe in a God..

Believe in Him, follow His rules, go to heaven.

What if there is no God or Karma?

Still makes sense to do good, as it helps fellow living beings.

What do you think?

Reality
Reality by Christina Lutze

Continuing the discussion on free ideas, I’d like to see the following (perhaps they already exist..)

A chat bridge - something that can transparently bridge between Yahoo, MSN, Google, and all the other chat softwares….

Such that person A can use Yahoo, person B can use MSN.. and so on… The bridge would be a web site of some sort which can transparently translate between protocols and create virtual screen names which are cross platform compatible…

so for example… Person A has yahoo, person B has AIM. Web site will create a virtual Yahoo person B (for person A to chat with) and vice versa for person A, and this virtual person could be added to their chat software and talked with….

The key is the process would be transparent … a sort of bridge/proxy.

So, if I have only msn, when I sign on to MSN, this web site would make an open source me online and anyone with any chat software could talk to me…

Tip: if you are sick of having MSN, Yahoo and so on, try downloading Gaim which will allow you to login with multiple yahoo/MSN/other ID’s

A common comment standard - so anyone can comment on anyones blog, without bothering about boring login/etc. Think gravatar… hmm.. how about gravarant?… so you login once, and that login is good enough to comment on ANY blog

I hate MSN powered blogs as they expect people to have a microsoft passport login to comment…

A better search engine

Google is good, but not perfect. I want a search engine that’s better. As such it should include..

  1. Equal or better coverage (than google/yahoo)
  2. Less dependency on pagerank, or other weasely technologoies.
  3. Less spam/gameability.
  4. Owned by an independent company (not google).

brrr!
Web 1.0 by merlin (do you miss web 1.0? It’s still alive here)

[This article is not aimed at techies, rather, its for ordinary people.. I’m trying to discuss how modern web sites work, from my twisted unique point of view.]

1998: Simple HTML
I first started making web sites in 1998. Back then, it was really basic. I used HTML (a language to make sites which your web browser can read).

HTML is simple. Most of it is pretty basic. It usually consists of simple tags wrapped around the content you want, all in a single static file, with the extension htm (or html).

2006: Machines making web sites..

These days, web design is quite different. For a start, people don’t really design web sites. Thanks to the joy of CMS (content management system), a modern web site works something like this (From my POV at least)

Main components of a modern web site:

  1. A CMS / engine: (Wordpress for example) which is a collection of scripts written in a language the web server (hopefully) understands (php in this case) - these scripts include some sort of back end (like an admin section), and a front end, which parses content (pulls it out of the database, wraps a template around it and spits it out in a way your browser likes.)
  2. The database: this contains the stuff, e.g. the text and all that you type… The database is master. If it has a hiccup, even temporary, you end up with something like this:
    wordpress screen of death
    Wordpress screen of death - this is what sumna looks like when my database has an NDE ps: to Prose, this is probably what happened to you that day your site vanished for a few seconds ;-)
  3. A template - the engine uses this to make the pretty layout, so your content looks interesting.. 

Interesting observations on dynamic web sites:

A modern web site is a dynamic thing. i.e. it is generated on the fly (as in, each time you request a page, that page is made up for you then and there - rather like ordering a pizza from domino’s, but a lot faster)

Advantages of dynamic web sites:

  1. Pages are real time, so more up to date.
  2. You can make a change in the layout/choose a new template and results are immediate - this makes things really easy for everyone!
  3. People (e.g. visitors) can add real time content.. as can you!
  4. Simple to back up (in theory) all you need to do is back up the database. In practice, if you have made lots of modifications, e.g. to the template, and have various uploads, this can become a bit complex..

Disadvantages of dynamic web sites:

  1. Load on server - dynamically generated pages constitute a load on your web server - as in, instead of just spitting out HTML, the server has to pull data out of the database, ‘execute’ or run the php script to nicely format it using a template, and spit out xhtml for your browser.
  2. Setting up the initial CMS and database is a bit complex, thankfully wordpress is remarkably easy to set up..

Personal updates:

So, I’m finally sort of xhtml compliant. At least, i was, at last check. Problem is my site is still messed in Firefox. Bleah! Oh, and thanks to vesses. or vesess.. for prompting me (through sheer guilt) to fix the bugs.

Note: in my defense - most of the problems were from a bug in my version of wordpress which doesnt properly set up nested lists. Well the nested lists work but the validator goes all tits up. Thankfully, a little manual editing solves the problem.

Random unrelated flickr fun 

Buzzing Undies 

Ohh.. the ecstasy. Read more here

web slave
Flickr photo, by Bob Duck
[Disclaimer: the following is a rant: it wasn’t thought through or spellchecked.]

People like to call us web designers or even web masters: This would somehow imply that we are on top of the process/situation. Aside from the BSDM connotations, the term web master is simply inaccurate. 

So I am a corporate web slave. I help people achieve their online dreams, at the expense of peace of mind and some human dignity, which is lost in the day to day process of web design.

Thankfully, some things (like wordpress) make the process more bearable. Sadly, none of my clients ever ask for simple static web sites. They take one look at wordpress, go “Bleah”, and say “OK now give me the dancing hamsters..”

Anyway, here are some random things I always wish I could tell my clients web masters (the people who pay me, those who make the decisions, call the shots, and are responsible for the sucky web sites I unwillingly help create)

Rant: To those who hire me
Or: an open letter to my clients, especially Sri Lankans
(Things I’d love to tell you but don’t, because you won’t listen/believe me)

  1. Flash: is a nono. True, it looks cool, but not everyone has the plugins. Having your company logo dancing around may look cool to you because you are a clueless n00b, but most people find that annoying. (exception. a little tasteful flash in a separate section may be tolerable)
  2. I can’t guarantee to make your site number one on Google. I don’t think anyone can. True I can help you streamline your website, and improve its visibility to search engines (thereby improving its rankings) but, number one.. that might be pushing it. Its unethical for you to ask me that, and its unethical for me to promise that. And please don’t ask me to do unethical things to promote your site. If google blacklists (PR0’s) you, you are doomed. Remember. Google is God. (all hail Google)
  3. Reciprocal linking, isn’t all its cut out to be. A few appropriate links, if voluntary, from other similar good sites are OK, but don’t expect miracles. Say, client, do you even know what this term means? I’m not being rude, I’m just saying, don’t talk about it to me, or ask me to do it unless you have at least a clue. If you ask me nicely I’d be happy to tell you. Or ask Google!
  4. People visit your website to find information, directions, pricing, and hopefully contact you. They don’t want a lame glorified advertiesment. Or flash doodles. Or javascript clocks. They may thrill your six year old daughter. (Which is OK if she is your target market, I guess).
  5. You pay me to make you a website: All the other things I do to help you succeed in your web venture are out of the goodness of my heart. When you tell me to do patently stupid and counter-intuitive things, I will automatically stop advising you. Or bite my tongue every time I get a bright idea. Summary: Give me the money and let me do my job. You stick to your job of being CEO or whatever, and I’ll stick to mine..
  6. I actually have a clue (sometimes): your marketing whizz may tell you that a black, white, and neon site is all the rage, and your design guru may be all aflutter about a java widget, but this will piss off most normal people. And you want most normal people to like your site, unless you cater to a highly specialized niche market. Or idiots.
  7. If you have a grand vision, thats ok.. but try to be practical please. Me devoting 50% of my time to making your dancing logo wont help your business in the long run. If I were you i’d concentrate on the message I’m trying to get out, as well as promotion.
  8. Don’t force me to do stupid things/make sites that suck: If you insist on a feature that is clearly stupid, I will politely advice you against that course of action. I’m exceeding tactful and my sentence will usually go “Some might consider this feature..” If I say that, just go with the flow, and humor me. It’s good for you. Of course if you insist, I have no choice.. When people see crappy web sites in Sri Lanka they tend to blame the designer. Sometimes the real fault lies in the client..
  9. You don’t need a web site: you need an web presence solution: Clients don’t get this. They think that a simple web site solves everything. What I wish they would understand is - a web site is merely part of the whole solution - and that’s what they should really be aiming for.
  10. (Please) try not to waste my time: I may not drive a late model Japanese SUV or play golf like you do, but believe it or not, I have a life, and my time is precious to me also. When you are first going to meet me, prep your staff up, gather all the material you need, and then arrange a meeting. If you have something to send me afterwards, just email it to me. If you want to send me material, try a courier service. Lastly, do you really need to meet me? Must I face the roads just to meet you? Does it matter how I look? Can’t you just accept I that exist, arrange a video conference, and mail a check Cheque?

Why I don’t make a lot of money in web design

  1. I’m not good at BS. When a client looks at me with a worried expression and asks me about whether his web adaviya can have a Picture of His Office, I usually say sure, no probs (as opposed to most local web designers who say “Yes of course it will cost you $500 as we have to carefully scan your picture using a HP Elbonian scanner with a giga pentabyte micromodule installed, which we must personally import from sweeden)
  2. I don’t charge $500 for a simple wordpress site: Even if you are crazily rich, I’d rather you did something worthwhile with your money, like paying your employees. Like the security guard. When is the last time you gave him a raise? 1983?
  3. I throw in most features/things/widgets for free: I usually charge a flat fee for the web site, after initial design. And I don’t increase this for rich clients, though I usually reduce this for poorer clients/startups.
  4. Banana Problem/featuritis: Client starts out with a simple concept. Then halfway through the design, s/he changes something. Then he spots something on TV, and wants that. Next his/her drinking buddy tells him that some feature is all the rage. Now s/he wants that also. Sigh.
  5. I charge clients pathetic low honest amounts:
    I don’t really like to charge silly amounts. True most of my clients have competing quotes which merely have three to four more zeros than mine, but hey..
  6. I don’t usually charge by the hour: That simply doesnt work - also it makes work rushed. I’d rather charge by the job. Usually this means I end up spending a lot more time than I should.. but what the hell. I sleep better knowing I did a good job. That matters to me, believe it or not.
  7. I don’t take advantage of my clients: So they take advantage of me.
  8. I’m basically decent: I can’t keep a straight face and demand a ton of money for a simple job, even if the client thinks its a huge job.
  9. People just don’t get the whole web thing in Sri Lanka.

And since I’m on the topic of ranting..

Rant: Local web designers
Rant: They all suck. At least the ones I’ve met. I remember these two guys.. One guy kept muttering “That command is depreciated” The other had an unnatural interest in self produced gas.. Not the kind of people I’d entrust my web presence to.

…And I hate the way they like to screw the customer.. True, most of the times, the customer is either stupid, or rich, or both… but nevertheless…

Sigh. something tells me that this is not the job for me.

Oh, and if you want me to recommend a good local web designer, I’m sorry, I’m yet to meet one.  

However, when it comes to bearable, vesess.com probably qualifies  - except for the freaky group culture thing (Vesessins? wth?!)

Oh, and I hear Indi does web sites too.

Lastly, if you are feeling somewhat lucky, I’m usually available..

[Edit: Vesess.com - have done some cool web sites. I particularly admire the fact that their web sites are all standard compliant. end edit]

Glossary (For those too lazy to Google for answers):

  1. PR0 - Page rank zero - when your website is removed from Google (those familiar with secular faiths can look up the concept of death or eternal damnation here).
  2. SEO - Search engine optimization - officially, the process of making a site nicer for search engines, unofficially using any trick you can to make a site more famous, (see keyword stuffing and doorway pages ;)
  3. Client - the person calling the shots, the real web master (See: Idiot, PITA, n00b, helpless clueless nokia wielding sacrificial cow)
  4. Widgets: Annoying features client requests which do nothing useful
  5. Flash: Interactive thingamajig software. Great for erotica and occational car sites..
  6. Web Adaviya: Sinhalese term for web site.

Check out them globes
[Scarlett Johansson (From Flickr). Not really related to this post in any way but shown here because of her golden globes wonderful personality]

Its an odd thing: When two girls meet, there’s this moment, where they measure each other up. Starts with shoes, clothing, handbag, nail polish, hair and so on.

We (the guys) simply don’t notice that split second moment. We are too busy focusing on boobs the introduction/the conversation.

I’m beginning to realize that much of what women do, as far as fashion goes, has nothing to do with men really. It’s just to outdo each other.

And they are vicious. They take each othe apart with a certain amount of ferocious savegery which would make even us men and our rivalries seem gentle by comparison.

Girls dont like attractive girls. Especially in an office setting. The office hottie (especially if she uses her assets for favors from the boys) is universally hated by her female colleagues.

Yes, I know, this (and 99% I write about) is obvious to everyone, but sometimes, I see these things, and it just occurs to me… gee.. never thought about that…

(Ed: Title should probably be girl vs girl, but girl on girl sounded kinkier)